A selection of good Jokes

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Thanks to SMS packages in Pakistan, I get a dozen or at times more jokes daily. I have shortlisted a few for sharing with my friends. Hope you enjoy them!

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

“Boss” he says, “we are doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We are short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks Boss” says Smith, “I knew I could count on you!”

While making the payment a woman searched her wallet. The cashier noticed a TV remote control in her purse “Do you always carry your TV remote?” cashier asked “No” she said “But my husband refused to come shopping with me so I figured this was the worst thing I could do to him”

Continue reading A selection of good Jokes

Art Work by GA

My son likes to draw pictures. After school he has his lunch, does his homework and then gets busy drawing pictures. A few days back he drew a picture for some contest and asked me to upload it to a kids website which somehow wasn’t working. So I decided to upload it to my Blog. Hope you like it 🙂

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Ghost Mind: It can cut people. It can control ghosts. (My son’s imagination!)

Karadeniz Power Ship for Pakistan

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SOS for Pakistan – The KAYABEY Power Ship

Pakistan is facing the worst ever electricity crisis in its history. Thanks to years of mismanagement, shortsightedness and corruption; a country bestowed with rivers, enough wind to generate 50,000 MW and a Solar belt that can also generate an additional thousands of Mega Watts of electricity, not to mention the world’s biggest coal reserves. The city of Karachi, the industrial hub of Pakistan and a city which generates almost 65 % of the country’s revenue was the worst hit. Karachiites suffered, and are still experiencing up to 12 hours of load shedding. Now a Turkish Power Ship, perhaps the only of its kind has set sail from Istanbul to Karachi which will give the city a relief of some 230 MW. This agreement has been signed for a period of 60 months, or 5 years. This may sound as good news, but the point to note here is that this is again a short term solution, it will run on fossil fuel and it is not going to be cheap, not at all.

Our daily newspapers carried this story along with a photograph of the ship which words like “ To end the power problems of Pakistani brothers and sisters”. Well, I have no qualms at admitting that I wept on seeing this picture. Not because it carried an emotional message, but because despite being bestowed with so much we are still waiting for God knows who to help us and alleviate our problems. That perhaps is the most painful thing. The leadership will never understand this, there are suffering from acute shortsightedness I guess.

Pakistan Army wins Cambrian Patrol Gold Medal

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Pakistan Army team has won the Cambrian Patrol Competition 2010 and has been awarded Gold Medal for best performance.  Cambrian Patrol is organized by the British Army in Wales and is hosted by 160 (W) Brigade. It attracts Army teams form across the globe. Over 750 personnel of various countries (16 in all) that include UK, USA, India, France and Canada etc participated in the  10 day long competition that was held from 8th to 17th of October, 2010. During this exercise troops have to carry out surveillance tasks, do patrolling, administer first aid, cross a river with full load. Pakistan Army simply stood out and was declared the BEST. This is a great achievement for the Pakistan Army as it was competing with more advanced countries. If anything this shows the Pak Army’s team work, motivation, resolve and training. Well done boys, keep it up! Watch the video below.

US Military told to accept Gay recruits

Slide1 This might come as a surprise as a Federal Judge has ruled against the “Don’t ask , don’t tell” policy terming it  “unconstitutional”.  The ruling also directs US Military to accept gays applicants as recruits. Though gay rights activists have warned aspirants not to disclose their “sexuality” as the decision may be revoked. The news is that the Obama administration plans to appeal against it.

What however, is not clear is that, will the US Army have separate units for Gays? or will they be merged in the “crowd”? Two ex-servicemen  who were previously discharged for being “gay”have applied for re-enlistment, after this news was made public.

Strange it is, as how the limits set by God are transgressed to a stage where “wrong” and “right” appear very less different and  in some cases appear to merge. The days when being “gay” meant being happy are long gone.

Azhar Haidri set to marry twice in 24 hours, “The Lucky Guy”

Picture this; Azhar Haidri 23 was in love with Rumana Aslam (21) and his family wanted him to marry Humaira Qasim (28). What  is a guy in love supposed to do? Dump his sweetheart for family or affront his family by marrying his love? Tough choice, very tough indeed. So he worked out a novel solution, what if he married both? Ahem! both on the same date, that is. Surprisingly, both girls agreed! And the man is all set to marry both damsels. In Pakistan, it is not uncommon for a man to marry twice or even more times, but this happening in 24 hours is strange indeed. The guy considers himself lucky, hmm, me says “wait and see” dude, lucky isn’t marrying two girls in 24 hours.

Haidri Haidri , “The lucky guy”

This is my Pakistan

Today is the 16th of Oct 2010, it is Saturday, day off for me. The morning paper carries a photograph of Karachi’s slum area “Khuda Ki Basti”. The photograph itself is self explanatory. It shows a web of illegal electricity connections from a WAPDA pole. One could rave and rant about this thing, but why waste time. Just the picture is posted below for everyone to see. But on the contrary let me say a few words: This explains for the non-availability of electricity, this explains for its high cost and above all this explains the rampant corruption in our society. The question is, if such pictures appear in newspapers, does anyone actually take notice? I mean the people who are supposed to be controlling all this? I guess not. How true it is when they say, “The fish rots from the head.”

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Protecting Children in Cyberspace. (I won the Best essay Award, organized by ITU-T)

About a year back Pakistan Telecommunication Authority held a competition on ITU’s theme for 2009, “Protecting Children in Cyberspace”. Yours faithfully also participated and luckily won the first prize! The article itself is pasted below for you to read and enjoy. Best wishes :-)

Abstract.

Internet is in a constant state of growth and change. New technologies mean new services and hence it is always in a state of evolution. Internet is neutral and can be used by anyone for any purpose. There area lot of ills and threats thriving in cyberspace and children are susceptible to these ills. These are covered in some detail here along with a brief analysis. Based on the analysis some worth recommendations have also been made. These recommendations if considered for adoption can help control the menace of child exploitation in Cyberspace.

1. Introduction.

The Internet is strange in many ways. Since its birth it has been growing at a phenomenal rate. 100 million websites and 1.5 billion internet users later this medium is growing and still strong. Few would have imagined its potential and power just a decade ago and fewer still would have predicted the way it is today. Since its inception it has been used for a myriad purposes, there is business, the daily E-mail, news, recreation, education, entertainment, social purposes, research and the inevitable chat to count a few. Each day a new use, a new technology and a new purpose is discovered. One thing is for sure now, there is no escaping the Internet, that is, it is now inevitable. Cyberspace is difficult to control and dominate, today. As the number of its netizens comprising young, old, poor, rich, simple, troublesome, black, white and all increase its making its own set of rules and is akin to controlling an underworld, that is by all means huge and constantly growing. Human behavior, habits and actions are unpredictable and this very feature makes the cyberspace hazardous. Add to this the fact that in cyberspace everybody can be somebody and a nobody all at the same time and we have a very complicated situation. There are children, adults, professionals, students, hobbyists and business people and then there are people with fake identities, perverted ideas, and assumed characters.

The Internet is addictive because it is always there and surprisingly there is something for everybody in it. These features make it attractive for all, and children are no exception to it. It is their curiosity and urge to learn that drives them to ride the Information Superhighway. The vast and endless amount of information available on the Net is a wonderful feature, and hence the attraction. This attraction does not end here, for the Net is prone to all types of threats. Threats from predators, threat from unwanted data, threat from pornography, lurkers, unsolicited e-mails etc. Children in young and tender ages are susceptible to all such hazards and uncontrolled use of the Net can lead to circumstances and occasions that are unwanted and in some cases ugly. Besides control and monitoring, there have to be in place laws, rules, regulations, policies and guidelines so that the menace can be addressed at all levels instead of leaving it o the parents to guard the children. It has to be a systematic process covering various tiers, so that slips at one end can be covered at another so that the issue addressed in totality.

Continue reading Protecting Children in Cyberspace. (I won the Best essay Award, organized by ITU-T)

Facebook, after all is popular in Pakistan

The social networking website that took the world by storm and is still going strong with a population of over 400 million users is popular, in Pakistan and elsewhere. Well this is no breaking news off course. Let me explain, I am a frequent traveler on Pakistan’s premier bus service Daewoo. Frequent would mean at least round trips to various cities each month. And off course when you travel for over 5 hours one way, you are bound to use the bathroom, restroom, head or john, whatever you may call it. Bathrooms (public) everywhere in the world are always adorned with messages written on their walls, some meaningful some meaningless. I have seen this in China, Turkey, UK, UAE etc etc. This happens to be like this, somehow.

Most of the times in Pakistan, these messages appear to be offensive in nature. When you sit down on the toilet seat you really don’t need to read any paper or play with your cell phone! The walls have ample stuff for you to read. You can read religious hatred messages/slogans, jokes, 18+ graphic arts and most of all cell phone numbers of boys/girls. But just recently I came across the most interesting message of a would be hooker, written simply was “ 22 years old girl available for sex, in Lahore, find me at www.Facebook.com/(her name). Holy smokes! That explains it.

Whether the ad was genuine or not, I don’t know, but it was right there on the wall in red color! Hence my conclusion, Facebook is after all popular in Pakistan.

Pakistan’s Power Woes

It has now been a little over three years that we Pakistanis have been experiencing power shortages. Each year promises to be better, but is worse than the last. When will it all end, nobody knows, perhaps never. The Government has been busy making promises, which have never been fulfilled. I was in Kashmir when this thing started in 2006, and right then I made a decision to buy a UPS (Uninterruptible Power Supply). Then in 2008 I moved to Lahore and all hell broke loose. In Kashmir load-shedding (as it is called here) was normally for 2~3 hours daily, but in Lahore we experienced up to 8 hours of power outages during peak summers. Surely the UPS wasn’t built for this kind of use. So I had to buy another one, which was more powerful, imported and with a bigger battery. This, I have been using for the last two years. Being an Electrical engineer I have plans to go Solar 100%, but paucity of funds will not let me do this. Other than this, one can buy a Generator if he/she can afford the sky rocketing fuel prices. Wind energy is not an option either since there isn’t much wind in Lahore to drive a Wind Turbine successfully for electricity generation.

So what do we do? Or what can we do? Nothing much except that we can and should use less electricity, or in other words try to conserve it. The Government isn’t doing much. The RPP’s that have been installed haven’t started contributing to the National Grid (at least some of them, for whatever reasons). The so called Political Government can’t even build a consensus on the darned Kalabagh Dam. Such a pity,we can’t even agree on issues that affect us. And Thar coal? Well that perhaps is waiting for some Divine intervention. The least these Goons can do is start utilizing the plentiful coal deposits.

The wind corridors in coastal areas of Sind and Balochistan can be used for generating electricity from wind. But, the question is “who will bell the cat?”