Something about Pashto expletives

Disclaimer: This post is in no way meant to defame or slander race, it is just a few lines written in a lighter mood and are to be taken as such. If you feel offended I apologize for that in advance.

That piece I wrote about Punjabi expletives was by chance, this one is intentional, considering the feedback I have received. I have lived amongst Pathans most of my life and some of my best friends ate Pathans. I know their language “quite well” and as is wont to happen in such cases the expletives and swear words come gratis, and hence I know them very well too   I can tell you guys that Pashto swear words are meant to operate at a different level, quite often depending on the situation, mood and the level of comfort or discomfort the people have amongst them (while using them). There are words that in a friendly jest would be laughed off or completely ignored, then there are words that will target the opponent and will hit very hard and off course then there’s a special colored language that will particularly target the men and it has to be his “derriere”. That I have seen and heard as it is totally unavoidable be it amongst friends or enemies.

The smallest gesture of a curse word being used is to compare one’s lineage to a donkey. This happens more often than not and is normally ignored or laughed at by the audience with the target feeling a little out of place. A more serious one is to compare the bloodline to the feline species and that being none other than the dog. Such hard hitting compliment will mostly invite an equally grueling rebuttal. Mostly this is used in serious matters. Then off course as things get more hot people will resort to hard language and in that the opponents wife, sister or even mother are targeted with language that would put a lecher to shame. This is when things get super hot. In such cases matter normally come to a head and can result in the men getting physical. Oh, and then there’s one more category of men who have quite unintentionally started using the cussword normally used in Punjabi and Urdu to defame someone’s sister. Boy, this really is surprising. I mean just imagine a Punjabi expletive being used in Pashto!

On the lighter side there’s one such abuse which will put a smile on everyone’s face, and I have normally heard friends saying it to each other, it defies all logic, and has surprised me always, and guess what it the desire to bed the other man’s grandmother!!! How can that be? Well it is like that. But as I said this is normally used amongst friends and is barely taken as a expletive and more as a joke.

Now comes the hard part. Yup, you guessed it, the Pathan’s fancy or should it be called the infatuation for the, “derriere”. There will be times when a man will tell another man about his posterior in the most colorful words one can imagine, it will be funny off course. And then there can be surprises, a dark man may called as, “the man with a black behind”. Similarly, one with a heavy set of bottoms may be called as, “the one with heavy bottoms”. A normal jape I have heard is about the other man’s posterior, so if was to say, “see your posterior” in stead of “look at you” that certainly would turn a few heads and sound very funny. There’s off course mention of “Zakhmi Dil” in an Englishman’s memoirs of the days gone by where he tells of a man’s infatuation with a young lad’s posterior, likening it to ripened peaches. If memory serves me right it is “The Frontier Scouts” by Charles Trench. So the Pathan’s infatuation with the buns will not be discussed anymore.

Being devoid of the company of Pathan women I am at loss to comment about the colorful language used by them. But I have heard from friends, that its quite lecherous too. But off course I would refrain from telling you about it, since it involves the use of food turner on the opponents privates. Sadly this is the only instance I can quote. Hush! No more of this nonsense!