My Ramble

To: The Killer of 2100 Houbara Bustards

houbara-bustard3

Image Source: http://themangaloretimes.com/

It was well past midnight, the Prince arrived at his place, which was on a small hill overlooking the city. It was quiet and peaceful that night, and not a leaf stirred. He decided to go to his bedchamber, to bed his latest prize who was already in bed an waiting for him. The Prince wanted to do it so badly, but he just could not, because that fateful night he could not get it “up”.  That really pissed him off. What is even worse, his prize, the one that wanted to be bedded, jeered at him, made fun of him and called him unmanly. The Prince had to leave the the job undone, but before leaving the bedchamber he vowed to get even with her exactly 2100 times, not one less or more, even it it took a lifetime to do it. Off he went to his advisor on matrimonial affairs His Lowness Al Fonso bin Al Viagrum Al Casanovim III. The advisor after taking a peek at the Prince’s privates and weighing the “options” with his own bare hands murmured is his Highness’s ears two words, “Houbara Bustard”. “Bastard” was the Prince’s reply. “Bastard” said His Lowness Al Fonso bin Al Viagrum Al Casanovim III, in unison. The Prince was happy, he was really happy on being given the advice and asked His Lowness if such an act would get it “up”. “For sure” came the answer. It would make him the envy of Ron Goldman and Peter North, he said. He would be the most wanted virile male this side of the Earth. The Prince ordered him to make arrangements for “The Great Hunt”. A little consultation with his uncle and he was told to proceed to Pakistan, where he could find the treasured bird in numbers, to satisfy his lust and complete his pledge. Meanwhile His Lowness gave the Prince some Viagra to “finish the job”.

It was 3 am in the Kingdom and 5 am in Islamabad. The Prince after “finishing” the job called “someone” in Islamabad and told him he wanted to hunt the Houbara Bustard just like his ancestors had hunted. “Off course” came the reply and after a small rest he left his Princedom to sort out the problem to some distant place deep inside Pakistan.

The high-ups gave him a permission to hunt 100 hundred birds in ten days. “That would be 10 birds a day”, told him his personal advisor on mathematical and Statistical Affairs His Lowness Al Algebrum, as he was called.

“But that is far too less a number”, quipped the Prince.

“Indeed it is”, came the reply. “But throw in the $ 1.5 Bn card and it will swell to anything you want. For haven’t we given them that much, just recently?”

“What is 2100 birds in comparison to $ 1.5 Bn? Just nothing.”

“And wasn’t it the same man we provided refuge to? A couple of years back?”

“Yes indeed, it is” came the reply.

“Well then, what have we to worry about? After all we are all rich men.”

It took His Highness exactly 21 days to hunt 2100 birds, averaging to exactly 100 birds a day, some with falcons, others with shotguns. For each bird killed The Prince would look down at his middle and smile an inward sort of smile, as if saying “that’s for you my love, that’s for you.”

We are now told The Prince, His Highness that is, is on a major high, fulfilling his “Obligations”. He is “up” at the crack of dawn, and gets busy with the “business”. In fact so effective has been the “potent” that His Highness is often “up”. The Princess we are told is also happy but has at times complained about slight pain in the back. The Prince is nowadays the envy of whole Kingdom. He is looked upon as a “Role Model”  by the older generation, and in deed the young love his “company”. It is heard from “reliable sources” that The Prince wishes to complete his vow as soon as possible, which could be in a year’s time. The Princess has on the other hand been heard saying that this has been the “most fruitful year of her life”. Indeed it has been for this is a win-win for all, The Prince, The Princess and The Pakistani Government.

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